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flipped bell
only the true geeks will find this remotely interesting. the bell curve is getting flipped.
obituary oops
there was an apparent rash of deaths of famous people this last week.
The mock-ups had been on a development site meant for internal review. But the public briefly had access to them after the password protection got disabled.
good thing it was a mistake.
new constitutional amendment
thank goodness this wasn't proposed until slick willie got out of office. it's a consitutional amendment to repeal the 22nd constitutional amendment. you don't know what the 22nd amendment is do ya? i didn't either. it's the one that limits presidential terms to 2.
abott and costello in the desert
abbott and costello are looking for terrorists. it's funnier if you read it out loud. maybe with someone playing each part. alone? ok you read abbott's part and i'll read costello, he's the funny one.
...and action!
Costello: Sure, what's their names?
Abbott: Izzat Ibrahim.
Costello: How do I know? I ain't seen him.
Abbott: I know. That's why we gotta find him. He and Mizban.
Costello: He musta been what, Abbott?
Abbott: No, not Hee Muzbin Wot. Izzat Ibrahim!
Costello: I told yuh, I ain't seen him! Is he Hussein's guy?
Abbott: No, he's Syria's.
Costello: I'm serious too. That's why I wanna find him.
Abbott: No, you don't understand, Costello. Syria's terrorist.
Costello: I know he's a serious terrorist. They're the worst kind.
Abbott: Now, if you find him, call the U.N. and get Kofi.
Costello: I got some right here. With cream and sugar.
Abbott: No, tell Kofi to get Yassir.
Costello: Yassir?
Abbott: Good. Now get going.
Costello: Hey Abbott!
wedding countdown
in honor of the fact that one year from today i will in fact be getting married. i have installed a handy dandy countdown timer on the right hand column so that you can all see how long you have to get your gifts in. and also how long until i will no longer be mr. brad simmons but mr. and mrs. brad simmons..wait..that doesn't sound right.
burger king star
an aspiring singer who made a wrong turn and ended up working at burger king. really talented guy.
the mostest
venezuela has the most beautiful women. russia has the most natural gas. finland has the highest % of mobile phone users and the u.s. has the most nobel prize winners. how did i know this you ask? go ahead..say it directly into your monitor. now click those links above.
privacy concerns
privacy is a huge concern. both in day to day life and on the internet. a couple of years ago this company called DoubleClick got in a bit of trouble for using not so ethical ways of collecting information from users, and then selling it. also less than ethical.
guess who has been selected to the the first privacy czar for the Department of Homeland Security? a former executive of DoubleClick.
now i suppose it's possible that this executive had nothing to do with the unethical goings on of DoubleClick. but, do we want to take that chance.
idiots.
revenge
not to give anyone any ideas but...
got hacked?
got broadband internet (dsl or cable) and no firewall or router? might wanna think about investing in some protection. these guys set up computers on the net and watched them to see how long and how they were hacked.
robot massager
i'll take one of these too.
turn anything into oil
if this really works, and of course since it's on the internet it must be true, turkeys everywhere should be concerned.
...
If a 175-pound man fell into one end, he would come out the other end as 38 pounds of oil, 7 pounds of gas, and 7 pounds of minerals, as well as 123 pounds of sterilized water.
where we're headed through abortion
in the netherlands this week a terrible precedent was set, a little girl was awarded damages in a "wrongful life" suit.
The case of 9 year old Kelly Molenaar has led MPs to call for the Netherlands to follow France and ban damage claims for wrongful life. Doctors fear the judgment could lead to a sharp increase in defensive prenatal testing.
this is not good news. already in the netherlands doctors are given the power to end the lives of the elderly or the handicapped who are beyond help and will never be able to live a "useful" life. abortion and this are tied because both give the choice of who lives and who dies to the more powerful, so called "might makes right." whatever the most powerful says, is right.
this theory taken to an extreme ends in genocide.
ghettofab hairdos
need a new stylist? this place has psychic readings, bbq and check cashing available too.
honda commercial real
did you watch the honda commercial i linked to? no..well go watch it. when you're done watching it you'll be much more impressed with the fact that it was not done with trick photography, it was actually set up and took 606 takes to get it right. impressive huh?
dogs and cats
i got this in an email from jamie jo
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally
unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
What is a Dog?
Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food being opened half a block away but don't hear you when you're in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play.They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. They leave their toys everywhere.
Conclusion:
Cats are tiny women in little fur coats, and dogs are tiny men in little fur coats.
that's about right.
"iraqi most wanted" playing cards
you may have heard aobut the army issuing playing cards with pictures of iraqi leadership to soldiers in iraq to help them identify iraqi leaders still at large. well now you can own your very own set
the brick testament
this guy's got alot of time on his hands. he has basically done a lego version of the Bible. i didn't go through all of it so i don't know how accurate it is, but it's worth a look.
saddam's loveshack
appears mr. saddam was into the retro decorations.
Troops thought it was the home of Saddam Hussein's mistress, though on the wall and in the bedroom were photos of the former Iraqi president and a woman who appeared to be his wife. The company commander suspected they had found one of Saddam's many safe houses.
music advice
looking for new music? need help finding artists you may like? this nifty plugin will help you.
girls are evil
let me see if i've got this straight...
girls = time x money
time = money
girls = money x money = (money)2
money = root(evil)
girls = (root(evil))2
girls = evil
except for one of course.
bird poop art
along the same lines as maggot art, posted earlier, we now have bird poop art. yeah...i don't get it either.
billion $ monkey
as a new promotion, pepsi will be entering the reality tv game show market and using a monkey as its gimmick.
....
"An unusually dexterous monkey" will do the picking, says executive producer Matti Leshem. "It's the ultimate slap in the face to evolution: the fate of a billion dollars will be in the hands of a monkey."
as is pretty much par for the course, the wb network will be airing the 2 hour show. no offense 7th heaven and buffy fans.
why so much spam?
wanna know why you get so much spam? these guys found out how to avoid it and share their findings.
maggot art
apparently fingerpainting and paintbrushes have grown obsolete.
there are examples on the site and t-shirts available.
which side?
ever wondered who drives on which side of the road and why? well here's all you ever wanted to know and more.